Dazed and Confused

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I’ve been doing a lot of thinking tonight. I’m a thinker, it’s what I do.

And then I try to put things into words. This one’s a hard one, though, because it has many pieces. Here are the pieces that came at me tonight and spun me around into a realization.

I met one of the nicest people walking the planet this past year. Kind, generous, funny. And I was mentioning that to a couple other people who I don’t really know that well and they said, “yeah, but she’s weird.” I’m not sure if my annoyance showed on my face, but I did what I always do when taken aback. I lost my words. And I felt the annoyance flare up in my brain and move across my eyes. But they must not have seen it because they carried on as if they hadn’t just tried to diminish someone’s beauty. And a couple of weeks later, when I was talking to this person, enjoying her company and humor, one of those same people looked at me and rolled his eyes, as if we shared a secret, not realizing that my opinion was that he was the odd one out.

Tonight I was listening to some podcasts. One of them was Suzy Orman on Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations. And she was talking about women’s power and the power of money and how women pay attention to money for the household because that’s where the family is and that’s what is in their hearts. And then she started saying that women needed to pay attention to more than that because money is power and people are attracted to power and power then brings money and yadda, yadda, yadda. I tuned out and turned her off. And let that percolate for a bit.

Then I was listening to a couple of great Hay House talks on the Mind-Body connection. And one talking about the frontal lobe of your brain that tells you what you are “supposed” to be doing, while the rest of the mind and the heart and stomach are connected and contain the purpose of your soul, of your life. And that disease results in ignoring what they are trying to tell you and listening to the frontal lobe. And one of the talks asked the question, “if you could do anything you wanted, without worrying about any of the worries of this world, what would that be?”

And then, the percolation continued. And, as I was putting away some herbs that I had processed tonight, I was mulling everything over and said out loud, “I am powerful because I am connecting to my truth.” Even if I don’t quite know how to articulate my exact truth yet, I know that I am on the path to finally finding it. And the person I met this year is how I want to walk on this earth. Generous, loving, and kind. And to let other people know that they are generous, loving, and kind, too. And that generous, loving, and kind isn’t weird. It’s powerful. It just seems weird because we are walking around dazed and confused by this world that has taught us the opposite.

You are perfect. Follow your heart to your soul’s purpose.

And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? ~ Mark 8:36


photo credit: h.koppdelaney Come Together via photopin (license)

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